Driving me Crazy
by RainbowColoredHumanBeing
Summary: It was supposed to be a peaceful ride to Wright Anything Agency for a Christmas party. Oh, how Miles Edgeworth was wrong.


"How long till we get there, sir?" Ex detective Dick Gumshoe asked from the passenger seat.

"About one hour"

"Come on, Mr. Edgeworth, can't you drive faster?" Kay sounded really annoyed from her position at the backseat. Phoenix had invited him to a Christmas party at the Wright Anything Agency and allowed some extra guests.

He just had to take Sebastian and Kay with him. The two were like his own children, although he'll never admit it out loud. Franziska would be spending the holidays at Japanifonia, so she would be dragged along. And Gumshoe...well. Miles assumed tagging along would be better than spending Christmas by yourself, so he invited the former detective as well.

So, after picking up Franziska at the airport, the car was full. Full of some of the least patient people Edgeworth has ever met.

"Kay I can't go any faster. I'm already at the speed limit"

"But Mr. Edgeworth, one hour inside a car will drive me insane!" she was pulling at her hair now. Not a good sign.

"Miles Edgeworth, I have no idea where you're taking me, but I'm already hating it" Franziska voiced her thoughts for the first time since entering the car.

"Please Franziska, it's just a Christmas party. You will like it, I promise. Don't you trust me?"

"I actually don't"

"... Burn"

"Be quiet, Kay"

* * *

- **10 minutes into the ride-**

"Hey Gummy, Sebastian and I are gonna play 'I Spy'. Wanna join?"

"Okay. Can I start?"

"Sure, go ahead"

Miles sighed deeply. At least they were playing something now. After over five minutes of a meaningless discussion about speed limit Kay seemed to have calmed down a little. Franziska was pouting while looking out the window and mumbling things like "This better be good" and "I'll kill him otherwise" but at least she wasn't being hostile to anyone.

"Alright, so... I spy with my little eye a really amazing man" Gumshoe said directing a goofy grin towards Miles.

"Thank you, Dete-...Mr. Gumshoe. But you don't have to compliment me so much anymore. I'm not the one who's in charge of your salary after all"

A small smile graced Miles lips while the former detective beamed at him again. Kay exclaimed annoyed from the backseat, again:

"Oh come on, Gummy, that's too boring! New rule to the game: no people allowed. You can pick whatever object from inside or outside the car, but you can't pick a person. Alright? Now, try again!"

"Okay, okay" he chuckled softly "I spy with my little eye... something flying"

The first thing that crossed Miles head was a flying woman, but he quickly dismissed the thought. It was just a bad memory that he hoped to forget soon enough.

"An airplane! There!"

Miles looked up quickly to see that Kay was pointing at a iFly Airlines plane. More bad memories! Great!

"You got it right, Kay! It's your turn now"

"YES! Alright, let's see...um...ah! I know! I spy with my little eye something really loud"

 _You_ , Miles wished he could say that. Oh, how much he wanted to say that.

"Um..oh, is it that stone crusher? There?" Sebastian guessed, but he wasn't so sure judging by his voice. Miles turned to where he was pointing and, sure enough, they were passing by a construction site where a worker operated the stone crusher.

"Yep. Good job Seb! Your turn now"

"Right! Okay, um..." he looked around the car for some time until his eyes stopped at something "I spy with my little eye something that inflicts a lot of pain"

 _What? What could it be?_ Even with a lot of thinking Miles couldn't fathom what was on the young prosecutor's mind. From her place at the middle of the backseat Kay glanced at Franziska by her right, who looked back at her with a quizzical expression.

"Gosh, Sebastian, I told you already" she turned to her left to glare in annoyance at the young man who could only give her a confused look in return. "you can't pick Miss von Karma for the game!"

"Wait, what!? No, I wasn't referring to her, I was referring to her whip- ARRG!"

"Franziska, no whipping inside my car, please"

And the ride continued with a grumpy Franziska and a sobbing Sebastian.

* * *

- **30 minutes into the ride-**

"Wow, this is so boring"

This time it wasn't Kay complaining, surprising Miles for a second. It was actually Sebastian.

"No kidding" Kay chimed in to agree, her head resting on his shoulder. She chuckled but it sounded like she was dead inside "It's so boring Miss von Karma fell asleep"

Miles glanced around only to be greeted by a sleeping Franziska, a peaceful expression on her face. Definitely NOT something you see every day.

"Really, you two? Come on now, she was just tired from her travel here. Don't you agree Dete-...Mr. Gumshoe?"

A snore was his response. Shocked, Miles tuned to his right, gaping at the sight of one Dick Gumshoe loudly snoring in his passenger seat.

Frustrated, he looked at the rear mirror, watching the smug grins plastered on the faces of the ones he considers to be his own children. Disownment seems like a good idea all of a sudden.

"He's too old. He needs more sleep than all of us"

"Okay Mr. Edgeworth. Whatever makes you happy. Can I at least put on some music, though? I really think I'm dying of boredom"

 _Sigh_ "Whatever makes you happy, Kay"

And then, for the next four minutes or so, Kay continued to reproduce some songs from her cellphone, singing along quietly, as to not disturb the sleeping passengers, Sebastian joining in every now and then. The music was clearly making them more excited and taking them out of their bored state.

"Oooh, I really like this one! It's so perfect for the occasion too! Sing with me, Seb"

 **They see me rollin'**

 **They hatin'**

 **Patrolling they tryin to catch me ridin' dirty**

She was way too excited now, jumping up and down on her seat, eventually waking Franziska up, while Sebastian laughed and tried to keep on singing with her.

"Kay, stop jumping. It's harder to keep control of the car like tha-"

A loud noise, like a balloon bursting but louder, alarmed everyone inside the car. Thinking fast, Miles signaled to the other cars around him and stopped by the roadside.

* * *

- **35 minutes into the ride-**

"I can't believe a single nail was able to burst the tire! This is going to delay our ride for maybe another half hour. And I don't even know if I can replace a tire!"

"I can do it if you want, Mr. Edgeworth"

"Do you know how to replace a tire, Sebastian?"

"Yes! Um, Blaise used to make me do it all the time"

"Oh" Miles felt a pang of discomfort at the mention of Sebastian's abusive dad, but, before he could say anything, the young prosecutor had already started to change the tire.

"Hey, um, Mr. Edgeworth?"

He turned to see Kay. She was looking at the ground, a guilty expression on her face. Miles already knew what she wanted to say, but he also knew that, the best way to deal with Kay was to just let her talk without interruption.

"I'm so, so, so sorry about today. I was being really immature and annoying" she sighed " but I'm just so anxious about the party and meeting that friend of yours that I kinda went crazy when you said it would take so long. So, sorry"

She lowered her gaze to the ground again, clearly ashamed. With a sigh, Miles smiles at her and places his hand at the top of her head in a caring manner.

"It's okay, Kay" he cringed at the way it sounded but kept going anyway "I know you well enough to not get bothered by that"

The smile she gave him in return was so big it might even be painful. Just then Sebastian raised his voice signaling that he was done with the tire.

"Right. So" Miles started "we still have half an hour of driving and I will plead you to bear with me. Please"

They all groaned. Miles frowned.

"Um, Mr. Edgeworth, sir. You must be tired after driving so much already. Why don't you let me drive the rest of the way, sir?"

He looked at Gumshoe for a second, contemplating the suggestion. He wasn't wrong. The ride had been extremely tiring. He then turned to look at his expensive car. A memory came to him. A memory of a bandaged Gumshoe at the courtroom after a car crash. Sure, the situation at the time required a little more speed than the limit, but he couldn't help be a little apprehensive.

"S-Sure Dete-...Mr. Gumshoe. Just...be careful. Please. And don't speed too much"

* * *

- **50 minutes into the ride-**

Fifteen minutes. Half the time Miles had planned to get to the Agency and Gumshoe was already parking in front of the building. _I told him not to speed too much!_ But that's exactly what he did.

Tumbling out of the car, Miles felt a little sick to the stomach. While everybody else got out as if they were driving at a normal speed, he heard Franziska gasp.

"No way"

"Hey, Edgeworth!"

A new voice shouted at him, full of happiness. He glanced at the front of the building and saw his childhood friend waving at him and sporting the most hideous sweater Miles has ever seen: an array of different color with the word "Papa" in bold yellow letters. It was enough to make him gag. Sick to the stomach indeed.

"I can't believe it"

"Franziska? What's wrong?"

"You did NOT just brought me to a Christmas party at Phoenix Wright's agency"

"What is the problem? It's not like you actually hate him"

"The problem, Miles Edgeworth, is that you picked me up at the airport after a two hours long flight" whip "put me inside inside a car full of crazy and loud people" whip "for a one hour ride" whip "raising my expectations for a Christmas party that would be so awesome that you were willing to put my trust in you on the line" whip "and it's a #$& % party at Phoenix Wright's agency!?"

She starts whipping senselessly, aiming especially at Miles, but landing some of her attacks at Gumshoe, Sebastian and Phoenix as well. Miles vision started to black out and, before he knew it, he was falling.

* * *

When he got back to his senses, he realized he was laying on the couch, dizzy, while Deck the Halls played in the background. He sat down and was immediately greeted by Phoenix.

"Hey! Feeling better?"

"Not really. Was I run over by a bus?"

"You could say that!" he laughed "But really, I'm glad you're okay"

"Me too, honestly. Now I can finally enjoy your party"

"Um, yeah. About that..." he sounded apologetic and that made Miles suspicious. Looking around him he realized why. The room was almost completely empty, save for Apollo, Athena, Trucy, Pearl and Kay sleeping on the floor "you slept throughout the whole thing. People already left and Gumshoe was only waiting for you to wake up so you guys could go. He's driving."

"I can't believe it. Where are the others?"

"Maya dragged von Karma and that boy somewhere and I'm pretty sure Gumshoe is in the bathroom"

Miles was torn up after that revelation. He was really looking forward to that party, and to think that he was unconscious during the whole party...he was at the verge of tears. Quite literally, judging by the look Phoenix gave him.

"I'm sorry Miles"

He just nodded at his friend, already trying to get confort on the fact that at least they could have another party next Christmas.

Not long after, Franziska and Sebastian came back from wherever they were with Maya. Apparently she tried to get them to buy her some burgers. Gumshoe came back from the bathroom and, after everyone said their goodbyes, Sebastian picked the sleeping Kay from the floor and they headed back to the car. At least the drive back would be peaceful. Fat chance.

Listen to the others telling him how much fun they had, how good the food was, how funny it was when Kay and Athena decided to dance to Jingle Bells, how nice the other guests were was driving him crazy.

But, when Franziska turned to him and said that she was glad he dragged her to that party, he made a mental note to put that whip at the bottom of the ocean before sunrise.


End file.
